OBEY TREVOR

Mission Statement:

Looking at the state of the world, it is quite apparent that the state of affairs cannot continue at the present course. The world needs a strong, determined leader to guide it through these troubling times. I am that leader. Obey me and you will gain security, comfort, and a place in the world. Some would say that I would limit your freedoms, but I would actually expand your freedoms by reducing the number of trivial laws. After all, doesn't society already limit your freedoms? They punish you harshly for violating their obtuse, obfuscated religion of rules. I would be lenient. There would be no decades of jail time from me; my subjects would merely go to their local doctor and have the appropriate behavioral readjustments in order to coexist with the populace more harmoniously.

Obey and be loved.

Name: 1337 R0XX0RZ y0ur B0XX0RZ

Age: 0x14

Occupation: 1337 Computer HAXX0RZ

Special Attacks:

Set hardware breakpoint
Redirect STDIO stream

Skills:

Exploiting buffer overflows
Cracking classified code
Creating electronic chaos
p0wn1ng n00bz

Favorite Saying: "Quiet, Mom! I've got to p0wn this n00b!"

Before obeying Trevor, he did leet hacking from his mom's basement.
By obeying Trevor, he became the world's leading computer expert.

Be smart and obey.

Name: Ninja Metal

Age: I very old ice cream yes,

Occupation: Guitar with happy feelings and to slice is life of way:

Special Attacks:

Rage of Akira
Desecrate the Floor
Hobo 26-Hit Combo

Skills:

Make happy long time
Slice those whom lotus blooms
Guitar play note of 1000 ashes
Very many girl super happy fun time with?

Favorite Saying: "Cord of guitar cut soul like blade of sword cut head."

Before obey Trevor, he play audience one.
After obey Trevor, he kill audience million.

Obey and be super happy fun.

Name: The Circuitous Avenger

Age: 10100

Occupation: CALL MODULE obeytrevor/zap

Special Attacks:

call_method(Annoy_Aki)

for (frequency = 1; frequency <= 10000; frequency++) {
    hyena_laugh(frequency);
}

Electrician's Handshake

Skills:

I shall compute the number of gates required to decode your soul!
I'm sorry, Ty, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
I am able to run all programs without the aid of a mouse.
My lighting system follows the Dirac function.

Favorite Saying

Before obeying Trevor, he built circuits.
After obeying Trevor, he became circuits.

Obey or be derezzed.

Name: The Paper Tyger

Age: Music is forever.

Occupation: Master in the ancient art of Ora'gami

Special Attacks:

Rock on!
Peer pressure
Khaaaaan!

Skills:

Mutually beneficial one-way transfer of funds
Computers (other people's)
Tutto Pasta Date No Jutso
Aggressive Marketing Combat Stance

Favorite Saying: "I'm sure everyone will benefit from this organization... Now if you would just donate $300..."

Before obeying Trevor, he had long hair.
After obeying Trevor, he had a girlfriend.

OBEY AND GET FUNDING!

Name: The Bookman

Age: 1d20

Occupation: Servant of the Muse (Starving, Delusional Author)

Special Attacks:

Critical Hit
Verbal Obfuscation
ADHD Super Technique... Hey, look, a button!!
Inspire Blasphemy

Skills:

Radioactive Glow Case Modding
Aggressive Narration
Excessive Formality (T-Shirts are Scary!)
Encyclopedic Science Fiction References

Favorite Saying: "Anybody want a bookmark?"

Before obeying Trevor, he wore a red shirt.
After obeying Trevor, he was in the credits.

OBEY OR BE EDITED!

Name: The Pink Slip Privateer

Age: How rude! It is impolite to ask a woman her age!

Occupation: Aggressive Resource Gathering

Special Attacks:

Sealing the Portal
Boarding the Float
Taming the Snow Beast

Skills:

Posting Paper Persuasion
Politely Dueling
Capturing Enemy Alcohol Vessels
Patrolling Night-Time Waters

Favorite Saying: "I'll make you walk the plank, if you don't mind."

Before obeying Trevor, she patrolled quiet waters.
After obeying Trevor... Wait a minute—She??

OBEY OR BE BOARDED!

Spread The Word [PDF]

MINIONGEAR^TM

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